24 September 2001

by mraversion

No idea what time is (is). Some time in the morning. Today we celebrate Heritage Day, which means we all have a day off to do what we like while politicians & the socially conscious parade their self-delusions in public. Later (it will all be) they will show it all on television. How exciting.

I woke up with a sore mouth & tongue. I also woke up thinking about designing a game, some thing I’ve had on the agenda for a while. I intended to come up with a computer game, but instead I came up with the embryo of an idea for a TV game show. Or, conceivably, a newspaper or radio competition. I call it DISINFORMATION. It could consist of quite a couple of different games. The primary one: contestants get presented with three news snippets. Two have no bearing on reality and one comes from an actual news source. Contestants have to decide on the “genuine” one. Another idea: present contestants with bizarre headlines & let them work out a context, or try to guess what real story the headline refers to. Yet another idea: this day in history, where contestants are presented with rapid-fire “events” from various epochs in news history & they must try to identify the year; the closer to the year they get, the more points they get.

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Further to the above, a “hoax of the week” section can also (be) get included in the competition.

Anyway, time: late afternoon. I have got some sort of physical affliction, either a generalised malaise, ‘flu, or perhaps the effects of bad diet. Yesterday I ate a lot of corn chips. Plain corn chips, mind you, so I find it hard to imagine how they could have fucked me. Then again, I also ate ice cream. I made the ice cream & it contained only “allowable foods”, as far as I know. Anyway. I feel fucking awful. I’ve slept for the past while (I guess about an hour & a half?)

An interesting thing I noticed this morning (while doing the dishes): as soon as I began having negative thoughts, remembering embarrassing humiliations, misdemeanours, etc, I began to feel better (physically). Ditto for work-induced anxiety-thinking, etc.  However, upon dismissing such ideas & focussing on “immediate mindfulness”, my awareness of physical discomfort, fatigue & illness increased sharply. Interestingly, I choose to conclude that this means: the negative thoughts remove my conscious mind from reality (evidenced by my sudden occlusion to my physical condition); ergo, such thoughts represent unreality and should be avoided 🙂

I think I’ll try to do a drawing now, one that satisfies all the things I expect from a drawing. Meaning what? God knows.